The Utensil Society
by The Masked Wanderer
Summary: Sora, Donald and Goofy are thrust into an adventure unlike any other, where they must battle alongside spoons and forks against the evil Knifia and his Knife Kingdom in a parallel dimension called The Utensil Society! Ch 2: Tiny Tim, Last of the Sporks
1. Pilot

The Utensil Society

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sora kept holding onto Goofy's hand, but it was no use. The portal kept pulling him in.

"No! Sora!"

Donald cried out in fear. But there was nothing he could do. He just stood there, frozen in shock, wondering what he should do.

Just then, a mysterious voice began to call out to the trio.

"_Release us..._" The voice sounded like a girl's voice, as indicated by its softness.

Sora's eyes widened, and the hairs on the back of his neck began to stand up.

"_Release us from the darkness that breaks us, and bring unto us the light that shall free us..."_

Soon, the force pulling Sora became stronger. It became so powerful that Goofy could barely keep his feet on the ground, let alone pull Sora to safety.

"Hold on, Sora! We'll save you!" Donald cried. But it was all in vain. In just a few seconds, the portal began to pull Goofy in as well!

"No you won't!" Donald screamed angrily. "Not him too!" Brandishing his wand, Donald uttered a spell.

"**GATHER!**"

At once, Magnera was cast and began to pull the trio away from harm and into safety. Slowly, Sora and Goofy hovered away from the portal and into Donald's Magnera...

However, at that instant, a blue beam of light emerged from the portal and destroyed Donald's spell, undoing the gravitational pull it had on Sora and Goofy.

At this point, Sora swore he must have been hallucinating. For no sooner was the Magnera destroyed did he hear a growling noise come from the portal, almost like it was alive.

It almost reminded him of a beast.

The portal increased in strength once more, pulling Donald inside as well. Eventually, all three of the junior heroes were pulled into the portal, beginning to lose consciousness in the process.

Before his eyes closed completely, Sora thought back to how all this had happened, how his stupidity had gotten them into danger of epic proportions.

Again.

_Flashback_

_Sora, Donald and Goofy were walking along the streets of Hollow Bastion. It had been three weeks since they defeated Ansem and stopped the massive Heartless invasion. In that time, they lost contact with Riku and the King, who they had last seen behind the door of darkness. Now they were searching the worlds in order to find their friends, no matter how long it took._

_Their travels eventually brought them here, to Hollow Bastion, hoping to ask their friends for help._

_Sora eventually spotted Leon. He was just standing next to the water fountain having a drink._

_"Hey! Leon!" He called out to the swordsman._

_Leon glanced over to the trio. Turning off the water fountain, he motioned for them to walk over to him. When they were in front of him, he greeted them._

_"Hey. Long time no see."_

_Sora smiled and nodded. They hadn't seen him since they had closed the Keyhole in Hollow Bastion. It was nice to see him again._

_"It's good to know you're alright!" Sora clenched his fist and looked down. "At least... you're safe."_

_Raising an eyebrow, Leon put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "What's the matter?"_

_"N..Nothing! I'm fine." Sora looked away, faking happiness._

_Leon chuckled and shook his head. "You're a bad liar, Sora."_

_Motioning for Donald and Goofy to come as well, Leon took Sora's hand and led him to the one place he always went to in order to feel better about himself..._

* * *

><p><strong>The bar<strong>

_After two drinks, Sora was already wasted. Barely awake, he spoke with a slurred voice, and his eyes were in a deep glaze._

_"Er den Kywee started cwying! But I praamised her that Er'd come baack to er es soon as I found Weeku!"_

_"The next day, I swore to Goofy that Sora had a crush on her. But Sora refused to accept it!" Donald added. He hadn't drinken anything. Not since that incident on New Year's Eve involving Goofy's underwear and a pack of baloons..._

__"And then we were both laughing on the ground, and Sora's face got red." Goofy hadn't had anything either, also because of the aforementioned incident.__

_Continuing, he added, "But then Sora punched Donald in the arm! Then I punched Sora in the face. Or at least I tried to; I punched Donald in the face instead. Then Donald kicked me in the leg. Then Sora hit both of us on the head with his Keyblade. And then I-" _

_"All right, I got it!" Leon held up his hand and motioned them all to shut up. "So you're been trying to find Riku since then?"_

_Sora was too hung over to answer the question, so Donald answered for him. "Not just Riku! The King got lost back there too!"_

_"Yeah, you kept mentioning that part. Along with defeating Ansem and Goofy peeing his pants."_

_Goofy blushed a deep red and waved his arms in surprise. "Whaaaa! When did ya tell him that part?"_

_"Wen u left to go to der baddroom!" The barely conscious Sora managed to spit out. _

_Leon nodded. "I see." With a hint of sadness in his eyes, he looked over to the brooding teenager next to him. "It must have been hard, knowing he was right there in front of you, and there was nothing you could do to save him."_

_Grimacing, Sora clenched his fists and didn't say anything. But Leon know what he was thinking. He had been down that road before._

_Putting a hand on his shoulder, Leon continued. "I know what it's like to lose someone you care about. It can destroy even the best of people..."_

_Regaining his composure, Sora turned to face Leon, tears dripping from his face. "What do you do, when your path has been blurred by darkness?"_

_Smiling, Leon answered, "Find a light to show you the way."_

_Outstretching his hand to the boy, he said, "And maybe your light is right here..."_

_Wiping the tears from his eyes, Sora sniffled. Then, without hesitation, he held his head up high._

_"Yeah. Maybe it is..."_

_He grabbed Leon's hand, eager to see what destiny had in store for him today..._

* * *

><p><em>Leon, Sora, Donald and Goofy were now walking towards the Boroughs, where many of the residents lived. It was also the base of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee, a group of which Leon was a part of. In the time since Sora and Leon last met, the latter had teamed up with some other friends the trio had met in their journey, such as: Yuffie, Cid, Aerith, and even the wizard Merlin. Though Sora's efforts to rescue the world from Maleficent and Ansem's clutches were successful, there was still a lot of work to be done.<em>

_Leon explained all of this to Sora as they were walking along._

_"It hasn't been easy. The Heartless captured a lot of hearts, so most of the people are still gone. And the ones that are here are struggling to put their lives back together."_

_"I can't imagine it's easy." Sora was better now, but still had a massive headache. Putting a hand to his forehead, he asked, "So how long has this been going on?"_

_"Three weeks. Ever since you defeated Ansem." Leon looked at some of the villagers attempting to clean up a house which had been destroyed by the Heartless. "But morale hasn't been too high here recently. I don't really know what we can do at this point..."_

_"Aw, shucks, we'll help ya fix things!" Goofy chiped in. _

_"Yeah, we'd love to help you!" Sora added, giving one of his usual cheerful smiles. "It's important to get them back on their feet, isn't it?"_

_"No, no, no!" Donald interrupted. "We have to find Riku and the King first, remember?"_

_Sora's smile soon vanished, and his head dropped to the ground. "Oh. Right." _

_Looking up at the sky, he thought silently to himself. _"I wonder what they're both doing right now..."

* * *

><p><em>Eventually, the four of them reached Merlin's house. As Sora, Donald and Goofy prepared to go inside, Sora asked, "Aren't you coming, Leon?"<em>

_Leon shook his hand. "Can't busy. Got a world to fix." He looked up at the Castle miles ahead of them. "That Castle used to represent of a world shrouded by darkness. Now it's a symbol of our fight to restore this land to its former glory."_

_As he turned and walked away, the swordsman turned back to face Sora and co. "Good luck, you guys. And P.S.: Do NOT touch anything in Merlin's house until he comes back!"_

_As Leon left to find the others, Sora raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. "Why does he always say that?"_

_Goofy agreed. "Yeah, what does he take us for? Idiots?"_

**3 minutes later**

_"OH GOD, MY ASS IS STINGING! GET IT OFF ME!"_

_The floating broom kept kicking Sora's bottom, chasing him around Merlin's study. Eventually, the broom __hit his butt so hard that it pushed him into the bookshelves. At once, all of the books came crashing down on Sora's petite and well-defined body, crushing him under their weight._

_Donald gulped "Maybe using an advanced cleaning spell wasn't such a good idea!"_

_"YA THINK?" Goofy's feet were stuck in enchanted buckets. Slowly, he walked over to free Sora from the bookshelves While he was doing that, water spilled out of the buckets, causing Goofy to trip over it. "WHAAAAAOOOO!" Waving his arms up and down, Goofy tried to prevent himself from crashing into the wall. But it happened anyway. The buckets broke in pieces, and Goofy fell to the floor._

_"Well that's just great!" Donald muttered. "Thanks, guys! Now Merlin's gonna kill us for wrecking his study!"_

_Sora cursed angrily as he made his way out of the mountainous pile of books. "Well, maybe if you guys hadn't broken all those vases in the first place, we wouldn't even need brooms!"_

_"Not so fast!" Donald retorted. "We only broke them 'cause we were trying to get that book about the Realm of Darkness on the high shelve. The book that YOU wanted!"_

_"That's not my fault! YOU were too lazy to find a chair or stool to stand on!"_

_"He's a WIZARD! Where's a WIZARD going to keep his chairs and stools in a magic study?"_

_"Don't try to use my stupidity to confuse me!"_

_"Don't accuse me of trying to use your stupidity to confuse you!"_

_"Don't accuse Sora of trying to accuse you of trying to use his stupidity to confuse him!" Goofy chimed in._

_"Don't accuse me of trying to accuse Sora of trying to accuse me of trying to use his stupidity to confuse him!"_

_"Don't accuse me of trying to accuse you of trying to accuse Sora of of trying to accuse you of trying to use his stupidity to confuse him!"_

_"ALL RIGHT! EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Sora summoned his Keyblade and shot a few magic bullets in the ceiling to shut them up. However, as soon as he did that, a fountain of milk poured over the boy's head, ruining his hair and washing out the enormous amount of hair gel he put on this morning. Now he looked like a kid version Leon after he had been bathed by mermaids._

_Male mermaids._

_Goofy looked up at the hole above Sora, wondering where that milk came from. "I guess Merlin's one of those people who keeps his fridge on the second floor instead of the first..."_

_Donald snickered and took a picture of the defiled boy before him. "This is going straight in my-"_

_"Sora? Donald? Goofy? Are you three in here?"_

_At once, the junior heroes shuddered in fear. That was Merlin's voice! He was home! And when he saw what those three had done to his beloved house-_

_"OMG! Run for your lives!" Sora exclaimed. With no time to waste, the trio rushed upstairs to the kitchen that for some odd reason existed next to Merlin's bedroom..._

* * *

><p><em>"Sora, where are you? Leon said- My Goodness! What did you do to my STUDY? When I get my hands on you, I'll-"<em>

_Sora shut the door immediately. He gulped and yelled at Donald. "What's taking so long with that fridge?"_

_"I'm trying, but I can't seem to find the right spell to plug up these holes!" While Donald was skimming his spell book for the right spell, Goofy was inside the fridge, sitting on one of the holes that Sora had blasted into the fridge while plugging up the other hole with his nose. _

_"Hurry up, Donald. I can't hold up for much longer!"_

_Sora sank to the ground, shocked by how hectic this day had become. One minute, he was breaking the law by drinking in a bar; the next, he was stuck in the kitchen on the SECOND FLOOR of a sweet old's man house, which they had trashed just moments ago._

_Putting a hand to his forehead, he asked himself: "Could this day get any worse?"_

_All of a sudden, he saw an eerie, purple glow coming from the pantry area. Getting up, Sora walked over to where the glow was coming from._

_Seeing the door open for barging, Donald rushed over to the door and took Sora's place. "What are you doing? Get back here, Sora!"_

_But Sora ignored Donald. Walking closer to the pantry area, he looked around. There were big shelves and long shelves and tall shelves and small shelves. There was an uneaten pastry next to the sink, a bunch of potions and elixers next to the knifes. But he did not not see any purple glow._

_Until he looked down._

_There were four drawers under the sink. Between the second and third drawers, a mysterious fifth drawer emerged. It was completely encased in purple light so bright that Sora had to squint his eyes to look at it. Putting a hand to his face, Sora gazed in awe at this strange phenomenon. _

_However, Merlin's sharp cries forced the boy back into reality. "Goofy, I can see your butt in the ceiling! I'm coming up there!"_

_Without thinking, Sora ran over to where the kitchen drawer was and started to pull it. But it was stuck! No matter how hard he pulled, the drawer would not open._

_"Would you forget about that stupid drawer and help me with this door?" Donald was in a furious rage now, his face now turning tomato red._

_"I'll be right there!" With no options left, Sora was in a fix. He just HAD to know what was in that drawer. He didn't know why; he just did. You would think it was because that drawer might have a clue as to where Riku and Mickey were. Or maybe it had a gift he could give to Kairi when he finally asked her out. But the real reason... it felt like something was _compelling _him to open that drawer, like the universe depended on it or something. _

_Sora knew what he had to do._

_He summoned his Keyblade, which was in the form of Ultima Weapon. Aiming for the middle of the drawer, Sora emiited a faint beam of light from the Keyblade. Within seconds, the purple glow of the drawer disappeared, and the door slowly began to creak open. By using the power of the Keyblade, Sora had finally opened the magic drawer!_

_It was a decision he could soon come to regret._

_When Sora walked over to peek inside the drawer, a burst of light thrust him back into the door, crushing Donald in the process._

_"SQUAAK!" Donald was suffocating under Sora's butt, gasping and coughing for breath. "When's the last time you washed under here!"_

_"SHUT UP, DONALD!" Sora screamed as his eyes widened in fear. "We've got bigger problems to worry about right now?"_

_"Really? Like what?" Goofy said in a nasally voice, due to his nose stuck in the hole._

_"Like that!" Sora pointed at the drawer with his Keyblade. At once, a beam of white light shot out of the drawer and through the ceiling. Eventually, it went so far as to rise out of Merlin's house and into the sky above them, where everyone could see it._

* * *

><p><em>Yuffie was relaxing in the park eating ice cream when she saw the beam of light. "Huh? What the hell is that?" She squinted and saw where the light was coming from. "Oh man! Sora's in there! I gotta find Leon!" With the speed of a ninja, Yuffie disappeared in the blink of an eye, off to find her friend. <em>

_Or, if things turned out nicely, her boyfriend..._

* * *

><p><em>In Merlin's kitchen, Sora, Donald and Goofy were stricken with fear. They had no idea what to do; all they did was sit there and watch the light grow bigger and bigger.<em>

_What happened next came as a shock. Sora assumed he was hallucinating, for what he was witnessing could not be real. Real, actual spoons and forks were flying out of the drawer, with wings attached to their bodies. They were accompanied by knives, who were equipped with small turbine engines attached to their thin bodies. The spoons and forks were attacking the knives by striking at their engines, and the knives were busy cutting the spoons and forks in half. Soon, the entire ground was littered with broken spoons and forks, detached wings, and dead knives killed by their exploding engines._

_What's worse, they were multiplying in droves. First there were ten, then twenty, then a hundred, then five hundred! And it didn't stop there. Eventually, the whole room was flooded with flying kitchen utensils, so much that Sora could barely see Donald and Goofy anywhere._

_"Donald? Goofy? Where are you?" Sora cursed himself; this was all his fault. If he hadn't opened that stupid drawer, none of this would have happened._

_And then he saw them. Donald and Goofy had been captured by the knives and were now hanging on the ceiling above them. There were four pairs of scissors floating below them, getting ready to cut their necks and feet. _

_"Sora! Save us!" Donald started crying. Goofy, as usual, was filling his pants with urine, though neither Sora nor Donald would come to know of this just yet, at least not until one month later, when they would take refuge with a band of unusual rebels. But that is a story for later on..._

_This drove Sora insane, and he threw his Keyblade at both of them. "FIRE!" As soon as he said this, Ultima Weapon caught on fire, and as soon as it made contact with each pair of scissors, they each caught on fire and burnt into ashes. When that was finished, Ultima Weapon returned to Sora's hand_

_"Get away from my friends, you ugly floating eating utensils that somehow have the ability to think and fly!"_

_"That's not all we can do, little man!" __One of the bigger knives, a steak knife, bellowed at Sora. "We are capable of so much more!"_

_Sora gasped. "You- You can talk?"_

_"Yeah, we're pretty good at that!" Another knife, a cleaver, retorted. "But I'll tell you what we can do better than you can?"_

_Sora growled. "Yeah, what's that?" He said angrily._

_"CUTTING THINGS IN HALF!" The cleaver ordered his troops to fall into position, so they ceased fighting the spoons and forks. "After him, troops! Don't let him get outside!"_

_At once, the knives activated their turbo drive on their engines and proceeded to attack Sora. There was no time for Sora to defend himself; they would get him before he could move his Keyblade into defending position. Sora closed his eyes, preparing for the worst..._

_...All of a sudden, the door came bursting open, and Cloud and Merlin emerged in the doorway._

_"Didn't your Mommy ever tell you it was rude to trash other people's homes?" Cloud bellowed._

_Growling, the cleaver flew over to Cloud, aiming for his neck. But Cloud was too fast; he swiped his sword with immeasurable speed, and the knife fell to the ground in seconds, its body cut into many pieces._

_"No, Craig! Get that blonde-haired freak!" The steak knife ordered every other knife, even the ones keeping Donald and Goofy on the ceiling, to attack Cloud and Merlin. The former two dropped to the ground, landing on their butts and yelping in pain._

_The spoons and forks watched what was going on, and would not stand for it. "Not on our watch!" A salad fork with green coloring bellowed. The few spoons and forks that were left flew as fast as they could until they were in front of the swordsman and the magician._

_"We'll hold them off. Blue-robe guy! Close that portal immediately!" _

_Merlin nodded. "Of course!"_

_Without hesitation, the steak knife cut the salad fork in half, killing him instantly. At once, the knives charged forward, killing almost all of the surviving spoons and forks, only for Cloud to kill most of them as well. Only the steak knife and two butter knives survived._

_Raising his wand high above his head, he murmured a complicated spell in a foreign language. Sora could have sworn it was Latin, but he couldn't really tell. At once, a blue burst of energy emerged from Merlin's wand and flew into the portal. At once, the drawer began to close, and the portal started to decrease in size. Sora almost breathed a sigh of relief, letting go of his Keyblade for an instant_

_However, the minute he did so, something terrible happened. The moment he let go of the Keyblade, the portal start sucking it in._

_"The Keyblade!" Sora tried to grab onto it, but the suction was too powerful. In no time flat, the Keyblade had disappeared into the closing vortex._

_"Come back!" Acting primarily on impulse, Sora jumped into the portal to save the one thing he knew would help him find his friend. Making one last heroic jump, Sora outstreched his hand and reached into the closing drawer..._

_"Sora, stop!" Goofy grabbed Sora's hand and tried to pull him back..._

_End Flashback_

It was over. They were gone. Cloud had gone off to fight the remaining knives. Merlin sank to the ground, tears in his eyes, bearing clenched fists.

"So," he slowly began, "it begins once more

**To be continued**


	2. The Utensil Society

The Utensil Society

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts**

**The Utensil Society  
><strong>

**"NOOOOOO!"**

Even as the three were inches away from the ground, Sora still kept screaming at the height of his voice. Even after they hit the ground with a large THUD!, even after Donald and Goofy brushed themselves off from the impact, even as they started looking around to examine where they had wound up this time, Sora's loud, semi-girlish scream could still be heard.

**"NOOOOOO!"**

Donald began to gaze around, observing his surroundings. "Where the heck did we end up?"

**"NOOOOOO!"**

Goofy shrugged. "I dunno, but it sure looks purty!"

**"NOOOOOO!"**

The sky was a light purple, and the stars shined as brightly as the sun, though not as piercing to the eyes. The air was cool and fresh, like Kairi after eating a nice, juicy apple on a warm, summer day.

Donald and Goofy were awestruck at this beauty, and would have spend forever gazing at it, were it not for Sora's girlish and pathetic cries of despair pulling them back into reality.

**"NOOOOO-"**

A whack from Goofy's shield shut him right up. "Snap out of it, Sora!"

Sora looked up, then grimaced at Goofy. That was when he saw the tears fall from Sora's face. " Just leave me alone, okay?" Without turning back, Sora ran off into the distance, leaving behind a bewildered Donald and Goofy.

Donald glared at Goofy angrily. "Now look what you've done! We gotta go after him now! Sora!" Donald ran after his friend.

"Wait up, Donald!" Goofy trailed not too far behind him.

* * *

><p>Sora was breathing heavy, and it was hard for him to think. He eventually ended up in front of a silver building. Placing his hand on the wall, the Keyblade wielder slowly began to sink to his knees.<p>

Donald eventually caught up to where Sora was. "Sora, what's wrong?" He asked.

Sora refused to look at his friend. Closing his eyes, he looked up at the sky. "It's gone."

His heart sinking, Donald asked further, hoping what he was thinking wasn't true. "What's gone, Sora?"

"Don't play dumb, Donald! You know what I mean!" Sora turned to Donald as he said that last sentence, his eyes filled with anger and sadness.

Donald looked at the ground, sinking down just as Sora had.

"The Keyblade..."

Goofy eventually caught up, only to see his two closest friends sulking below him. "Hey guys!" Goofy sat down near where Sora was so he was at eye level with him. "What's the matter, Sora? Why'd ya run off like that?"

Sora grimaced, looked at Goofy, then turned back and scoffed. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"The Keyblade's gone, Goofy!" Donald exclaimed. "It got lost in this world somewhere, when we got pulled in the portal!"

"Gawrsh!" Goofy yelled, rising up in surprise. "So now how are we gonna find the King? It's the only chance we have of-"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!"

Donald and Goofy gasped at this outburst. It wasn't like their friend to be acting like this.

"The King, the King, the King, is that all you can think about?" Sora smacked Goofy across the face. He was now breathing heavily, and tears were flowing out of his cerulean blue eyes. The bewildered dog thing backed down.

"It doesn't matter anymore. None of it..." Sora held a hand to his face, which was now soaked in tears. "I'm such an idiot! None of this would have happened if I hadn't opened that stupid drawer!"

At this point, Donald would have walked up to Sora and said, "I told u so!", the jerk that he was. However, he could see that his friend was distraught, and didn't want to add to that. So instead, he put a hand on Sora's shoulder and consoled him. "It's okay, Sora. You didn't know. Besides, we all made the choice of going into Merlin's house together, and we did all the stuff that led to you finding the drawer!"

Goofy nodded. "Yeah! We're in this together! Whether we screw up or do something good, the three of us will take responsibility for it as one!"

His confidence restored, Sora grinned and nodded. "Right! Then let's take responsibility for finding that Keyblade! Together!" As he said that last bit, he held the hands of Donald and Goofy simultaneously.

However, just as he let go of their hands, a faint cry could be heard in the distance.

"HELP! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BREAK!"

The three gasped. ", Gawrsh, what was that?" Goofy exclaimed.

"It sounds like someone's in trouble! We gotta help them!" Donald yelled, brandishing his wand. Goofy nodded and brandished his shield as well.

"But I'm-" Sora paused. He was about to say that without the Keyblade, he was useless. But then he brushed that thought aside.

This wasn't complaining time. This was HERO time!

"Never mind. Let's go!"

And with that, the three headed off to say the day once more.

Hopefully.

* * *

><p>The three eventually reached the site from where the scream was coming from. Just as they arrived on the scene, Sora gaped in horror as he saw what was going on:<p>

A group of three small steak knives (without jet packs, Sora discovered) were attacking what looked to be a utensil that resembled both a spoon and a fork (a "spork", Sora believed it was called).

And the knives were winning.

The spork was silver in color, and his head was curved in the shape of a spoon, though the top of his head changed to resemble the narrow lines found on a fork. However, he was badly injured; a cut was forming in the middle of the spork's body, and it slowly began to get bigger.

"No, please! Leave me be!" The spork cried out.

"And why would we want to do that?" One of the knives on the left yelled maliciously. "You're an ABOMINATION! You're not meant to be!"

"Yeah!" The middle knife agreed. "What the hell are you supposed to be, anyway? Are you a spoon, or are you a fork? What the hell are you supposed to be!"

"I thought we killed your kind a long time ago! To think we missed even one of you-" The right knife started, then looked down in what appeared to be sadness, since none of the utensils Sora had come across had any facial or emotional qualities visible on their bodies.

But the knife soon composed himself (if that was even possible), and rose to face the spork again."Oh well! Better late than never!"

Laughing maliciously, the knife prepared to strike at the spork's wound one last time, guaranteed that this last strike would kill him...

"NOOOOOOO!"

With his trademark yell of defiance, Sora punched Goofy in the face, the latter falling to the ground in a comedic fashion.

"What the hell?" Donald exclaimed.

Ignoring Donald, Sora stole Goofy's shield from under his unconscious body and flung it with superhuman speed at the knives. In a single instant, two knifes fell to the ground. their bodies cut cleanly in two perfect halves. The shield then flew back into Sora's hand, and he gave a menacing grin that had never before been etched upon his face.

The third escaped unscathed, with a bewildered look on his face. At least, that's the look Sora assumed he would have if kitchen utensils really did have a face. "No! Bradley Jean! Knify Knife!" The knife growled angrily. "You'll pay for this, random guy who I've just met five seconds ago! LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE GETTING CUT IN HALF!"

And with that, the knife charged venemously at Sora, ushering his battle cry: "May the will of Knifia be done!"

He aimed at Sora's neck, but the latter was quick to dodge, doing a battle roll as he did.

"Yahhhh!" Sora then charged at the knife, raising the sword in the air. He tried several times to parry with the knife, but the knife was quick to dodge every hit; even without a jet pack on his back, he still had supernatural agility.

"I take it no one's ever taught you how to talk to strangers. Maybe this will prove my point!"

Before Sora had time to react, the knife was in front of him. Sora had to time to raise his shield, for the instant the knife was in front of him, he made it a point and _pointed _his blade into Sora's right hand, which was the hand holding the shield. Instantly, the blade managed to cut through the metal hilt of the shield, detaching it from the weapon. The shield fell uselessly to the ground, and Sora sank to his knees while blood poured out of his injured hand.

"NOO! Sora!" Donald exclaimed. He reached for his wand in order to heal Sora, only to find the knife in front of him, too.

"Uh uh uh! Remember what I said about _proving a point_?"

And he stabbed Donald's hand too. The wand fell uselessly to the ground, and Donald grabbed his wound before he died of blood loss.

"It's been a long time since my last cut! I was planning to break my fast with the freak over there-" he motioned to the motionless spork still whimpering in fear, "but I guess you'll do!" Just as he was about to cut Donald in half, while Sora looked on with fear and desperation-

SLASH!

The air was still. Time seemed to stop. The knife believed that sound to be him cutting the duck in half. Beginning to laugh, he looked down to see that the duck had survived! What was worse; besides his previous injury, no other scar was upon him. Confused, the knife looked down, and began to gasp in horror. A deep gash had formed in the middle of his hilt that was slowly growing. Seconds later, the two halves split, and the knife died before the sharp part of his body hit the ground.

Shocked and amazed, Sora and Donald smiled widely upon the identity of their savior

It was Goofy! Holding the broken shield in one hand, he breathed deeply, with anger and passion in his eyes.

"Goofy, you did it!" Sora ran over to hug Goofy, but was greeted by a kick in the balls. Yelping in pain, Sora grabbed his crotch area and fell to the ground doubled in pain.

Donald laughed upon seeing Sora in so much pain. "Serves you right for being a jerk! Good one, Goofy!" He gave the dog-thing a high five.

After they were done with their usual idiocy, the trio walked over to where the spork was watching. The spork seemed grateful, and thanked his saviors for what they had done.

"You're both hurt!" The spork said to Sora and Donald, whose hands were still bleeding, though not as profusely. "Come with me; I'll get you bandaged up! And when you're all better, you can spend the night at my place. It would be a good excuse for me to find out more about you, anyway."

"Thanks!" Sora exclaimed. They did need to rest for awhile, what with neither Sora nor Donald able to use magic right now. Besides, it was a good excuse for him to ask the spork more about himself and this strange, strange world.

Donald seemed skeptical. "I dunno..." They had only just arrived in this world, and it was too soon to start trusting anybody. Whispering to Goofy, he asked, "Do you think we can trust him?"

Goofy shrugged. "He seems okay to me! Besides, I've always wanted to eat with a spork!" He grinned happily, unaware of what he had mplied with his statement.

Sora realized he had forgotten something. "What's your name?" In the heat of battle, he had never learned the spork's true name.

"My name is Tiny Tim!" Bending his neck so his head was bowing to Sora, Tiny Tim shook Sora's hand. "Since we utensils don't have hands, it's good to improvise once in a while!"

Sora laughed. "Yeah, I guess so!" Then he introduced himself. "My name is Sora! And there are my friends, Donald and Goofy!"

The duck and the dog waved at Tiny Tim, who returned the gesture by jumping up and down.

"So about my previous offer..." Tiny Tim began. "What do you say?"

Sora scratched his forehead. "Well..." He thought for a bit; in other words, five seconds. "Okay! But first, I just want to know something..."

"What is it?"

"What do you call this place?"

Tiny Tim raised an eyebrow in question. Which was weird, considering this was the first time Sora noticed that Tiny Tim had eyebrows. "You mean you don't know?"

The heroes shook their heads.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Why, we're in the world where the impossible becomes possible. We live in a paralell dimension years ahead of its time. We live in a place where magic flows like wine, and dreams become reality! You have entered a realm long forgotten by reality, which exists alongside the heart of all worlds, Kingdom Hearts!"

"You are now in the embrace of...**the Utensil Society.**"

**To be continued**


	3. Tiny Tim, Last of the Sporks

The Utensil Society

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts**

**Tiny Tim, Last of the Sporks**

Eventually, the spork known as Tiny Tim brought the trio to his house. It was nighttime now, as evidenced by the dark shade of indigo the sky had taken. Upon close inspection, Sora was awestruck.

Tiny Tim's house looked like a giant kitchen drawer, complete with shelves and handles to boot. However, the drawers numbered about 50 or so, all stacked up one by one, reaching up towards the sky.

"Wow," Sora gaped, taking a step back. "It's almost like an..." Struggling to find the right word, he closed his eyes.

"...an apartment complex!" Sora snapped his fingers, as thought he had done something great. Since he had grown up on an island, Sora was kind of an idiot when it came to city life and architecture. Fortunately, he had actually paid attention in class for that one time in April, when they were learning about buildings in Architecture 101. Although why they were learning about architecture in a general, public middle school still remained a mystery to him to this day...

"Yup!" Tiny Tim nodded, bending his frame to do so. " I'm on drawer 45, so it might take a while to get up there..."

"That's okay!" Sora exclaimed, "Let's go!"

However, Donald grabbed his hand. "Can we have a word with you in private, Sora?"

"Um, I don't-" But Donald pulled him away anyway, and the three of them were huddled up in a group.

Getting right to the point, Donald whispered, "I don't think we can trust Tiny Tim, or anyone in this messed up place! Somehow I get the feeling we're hallucinating!"

Goofy scratched his head in confusion. "Ya mean we're... sleeping?"

"Yeah! And this has gotta be a dream! The Utensil Society? Spoons and forks that can fly! Knives that fly around with jet packs! Sporks! This is one adventure that's just ASKING for trouble!"

"It's not a dream!" Sora shook his head in defiance.

Goofy nodded his head. "Yeah! If this really was a dream, Sora wouldn't have lost the Keyblade at all! He woulda used it to take out those knives!"

Scoffing, Sora turned away. "You can always count on Goofy to make you feel better. Thanks a lot, PAL!" You could just sense the love and compassion oozing out of Sora's wide and self-pitying mouth.

With that, Sora coldly walked away from his two friends. Donald then pulled Goofy close and asked, "What got in his pants?"

Goofy shrugged. "I dunno; rats, maybe?"

Ignoring Goofy's obvious and unneccessary stupidity, Donald left as well...

Eventually, the four of them were in front of Tiny Tim's room, and once again, Sora, Donald and Goofy were blown away by its appearance. The door looked like a cupboard door, complete with a brass handle and hardwood panelling.

Sora put a hand to his forehead. If he was indeed hallucinating, this was the longest, most realistic and most detailed hallucination he had ever had.

Tiny Tim bent his frame once more and bowed to his new friends. "Come in! My cupboard is your cupboard!"

With that, Tiny Tim placed his head into the handle and pulled the door open. The door opened with a slight creak, and the trio was taken in by the strange aroma and the unnerving atmosphere.

Tiny Tim joined them, and the junior heroes began to look around. There wasnt much to see; since utensils needed no furniture, the room looked much more clean and open as a result. There were pictures of spoons and forks in the living room, though Sora couldn't tell who they were, or if they were male or female (did there even exist such a thing as gender in this world?). Apparently there was no TV, since utensils were incapable of holding a remote or changing a channel.

"I wonder if he has comic books stashed around?" Donald wondered.

"Donald, right now I'm more concerned about the fact that there's no bathroom in this place!" Goofy was freaking out at this point; without a bathroom, there was no way to relieve himself of the bottled up urine that he still hadn't told Sora and Donald about.

"I'd offer you guys food, but-" Tiny Tim paused.

"I know." Sora stopped him. He was starting to get it now.

"But I do have some water in the fridge! You can have that!"

Sora nodded half-heartedly. "Sure." He then walked over to the far right corner in the room and sat down. Sighing, he took out a picture from his pocket. It was a picture of Kairi and Sora holding hands; the former was pinching the latter's cheek, and the latter was acting all annoyed about it.

He sighed. "Kairi, hang in there just a little bit longer. I'll get out of here. Then, I'll find Riku and come home to you..."

"She means a lot to you, doesn't she..."

Sora looked up to see Donald staring down at him. Sniffling, the duck sat down next to his human companion.

"Believe it or not, I know what it's like to leave behind someone you love..."

The ex-Keyblader nodded. "Yeah, I guess s-" He blushed, realizing what Donald had just implied. "Wait, what?" Sora's face was now a deep crimson, and he kept waving his hands in defiance. "No, no, no, no, no! It's not like that! I mean- she's just a friend who I've known for a while, and I wanna protect her and stuff. You know how it is- sometimes friends are so close that people just misinterpret stuff about them and assume that they're intimate and-"

"I got ya, I got ya!" Donald laughed; no matter how many times he brought this topic up, each time was funnier than the last.

"Hey guys! Come over here!" Goofy waved over at his two friends sitting in the corner.

Nodding, Sora and Donald got up and walked over to where Goofy was standing. He was looking at a picture of Tiny Tim standing outside what appeared to be a bowl.

"What the hell..." Sora scratched his head. "As if this hallucination couldn't get any more freaky..." He whispered the second sentence, so as not to arouse Tiny Tim's curiosity.

In front of the bowl, next to the left side of Tiny Tim, was a brass spoon with golden wings and tatoos over its body. They were too small to read, and they looked like they had been carved by a knife. On Tiny Tim's right side was a fork made entirely of crystal. One could tell the fork was female as evidenced by her wings shown in a feminine (and somewhat promiscious) pose behind her back, as well as her well defined hilt.

For reasons not worth exploring, Sora and Donald blushed a bright red upon realizing that the fork's body was too hot to resist.

Whatever _that _said about them.

"They say she was a FILF." Tiny Tim noted sadly. Sora, Donald and Goofy turned around to see him standing behind them, in what appeared to be in a saddened state. "She really embarrassed me in front of the other kids..."

Sora was confused. "What happened to her? Where is she now?"

"Dead." The spork responded quickly, as if it was something normal to say.

"And your dad?"

"Same." Tiny Tim walked back to the kitchen, turning his back to the trio. "Your water's on the table."

Donald walked over to get the drinks, while Sora followed Tiny Tim into the kitchen. "How did they die?"

Tiny Tim shook his head, opened one of the drawers, then closed it again. "Doesn't matter."

As he turned back to leave the kitchen, he felt something pulling on his body. He turned his head to see Sora's hand grabbing his neck.

"Yes." Sora stated in a low, angry voice. "Yes it does."

Donald and Goofy were clearly unnerved by Sora's calm outburst of anger. He had never acted like this before he came here. What had come over him?

After a few moments, Tiny Tim sighed. "Very well," he resigned. "I'll tell you everything."

* * *

><p>The four were now gathered in a circle on the barren floor. Tiny Tim began to speak:<p>

"Many years ago, there was a giant BOOM! We don't know what that BOOM really is, or where it came from. At that instant, however, our ancestors were blessed with remarkable abilities. They had the power to speak and move around, and some could even fly. Although, as you've seen - not all of them."

The three nodded silently. Even though his parents were born with vibrant and beautiful wings, Tiny Tim had no wings at all.

"I'm an imbred. Spoons and forks were never meant to clink together and have children. It's strictly forbidden."

"Who says so?" Sora exclaimed, clearely enraged by this revalation.

"It's been depicted since the early days. The ancestors of all utensils decreed long ago that those they had gained mortality and a heightened sense of intelligence, they would never forget what they truly were- tools for people to eat and make food. And for as long as the Society has existed, that has been what drives us to be what we can be."

"There were three main groups of utensils in the beginning; the spoons, the forks, and the knives. All lived together in perfect harmony, carrying out their purposes; to carry out the objectives they were originally crafted for. Although there are many sub-objectives, there are three main objectives for each branch of utensil. The spoons were meant to serve and prepare food; various spoons are trained to do things like help people drink soup easier and make a mean pancake mix for cooking. The forks were meant primarily to help one eat food; in some situations, forks are trained for special occasions such as dinner parties in order to learn etiquette when placing themselves on tables, so as not to have their guests insulted for poor dining habits. The knives were originally meant to help prepare food by cutting things into perfect proportions before cooking, as well as in the actual eating of the food, when they could be used to cut pieces into smaller portions to help the food go down better in one's stomach."

"That's one of the reasons why people make a big deal about spoons and forks having kids together. They turn out to be good for nothings. Nobody knows what they're supposed to do, so why should anybody give them jobs?" Sora thought he must finally be losing it, for it seemed, just for a moment, that a tear had fallen from Tiny Tim's oval-shaped head.

"Wait a minute." Donald realized something. "That knife said that your people are dead, didn't he?"

"Donald!" Sora exclaimed.

He put his hands to his beak, realizing what he had just said.

Tiny Tim shook his head. "Don't worry; I'm getting to that. Like I said, the knives were originally meant to cut food, both for preparation and eating. But then something happened. Or rather... someone."

"Who's that?" Goofy asked.

Tiny Tim lowered a voice to a whisper.

"Knifia."

Sora, Donald and Goofy were strucken in awe. "Who's Knifia?" Sora asked.

"A monster, in every respect. He was born to a rich knife family, and learned of the story of the founding of our world. I don't know if it was his pompous upbringing or just peer or parental pressure. By the time he was in his teenage years, Knifia had turned into a rebellious, sadistic freak who despised any and all beings that were not of his race. And that included sporks as well. He hated them so badly; they only served as a reminder of how lonely he percieved his race to be. For as long as this Society has persisted, many knives had felt neglected by the other utensils, forced only to prepare and cut food. The darkness in their hearts overtook them, and thus began the first great Utensil War."

"Years before Knifia's birth, there was a long, great Utensil War. Many lives were lost in the struggle, and the survivors then drew boundaries amongst each other, in an attempt to prevent any further outbreaks of war. Of course, that's all I really know so far. This is just the general knowlege; the true secret of the war may be lost for all time..."

Sora nodded, thinking about his own universe, now divided into smaller worlds. He knew that as the result of a similar conflict...

"What about your parents? What happened to them?"

Tiny Tim sniffled. He got up and walked over to the window. Looking thoughtfully at the indigo sky, this was the part where he would have cracked a smile. "They were a match made in heaven. He was the oval to her points. She was the sharpness to his dullness. They were in love."

Tiny Tim turned his head over to face the trio, who were now shedding tears of their own. "It's funny. Even emotionless, inhuman creatures like us can find something as complicated and human as love..."

All of a sudden, they heard a knock at the door. Sora got up, wondering who it could be...


End file.
